Lifestyle Paperweight Writer

Observations of the Coffee Drones

April 4, 2006

Observations of the Coffee Drones

Standing in coffee-stained sneakers once-black, while surrounded by similarly soiled shirts smelling of crushed beans and spilt liquid with splatterim scattered. And every head that bobs to and fro underneath the humming lights are covered with wisps of thread-like hairs escaping into freedom from strangling nets of string held into place.

My hands move busily to and fro from paper cup to sugar dispenser to creamer, a slipping touch that’s more like pulling an invisible rubber band on the metal surface, finally settling themselves on the smooth and glassy mugs of black liquid that are poured from a single waterfall in a forest of coffee cups.

They are watching, with beady eyes and crooked teeth, almost flattening their noses against that invisible glass wall you immoculate yourself into, termed ‘personal space,’ to make quick-stupid judgments if you are concocting their order correctly and precise; not TOO much combination of cream and sugar or artificial sweetener?

My parents messed up my genes when I was born so a grain of sugar could kill me. Wait, could you switch to milk instead? I’m already fat so now I’m trying to be healthy instead. Use the freshest coffee brewed, I HAVE MORE PRIORITY than the next person in line behind me! And be quick about it. I only have ten minutes left to to eat my lunch because the goddamn line-up was so long!

This place is too popular! It’s always so busy here at lunchtime on Saturdays!

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  • Reply Jess April 2, 2006 at 6:39 pm

    i’m guessing this is either about Starbucks or Tim Hortons…most likely Starbucks. I’m addicted to both lol

  • Reply miss techie April 3, 2006 at 9:11 pm

    i used to work on the coffee shop on campus. the one thing i could never get right was the amount of soda someone expected in their cup. too much for was person was not enough for another. sooo annoying! just drink it, damnit!

  • Reply Clement April 4, 2006 at 3:39 am

    Saffe, i miss you. your witty comments are usually the ones that keep me going… with life and blogging. 🙂

  • Reply Clement April 4, 2006 at 3:39 am

    Saffe, i miss you. your witty comments are usually the ones that put a smile on my face and keep me going… with life and blogging. 🙂

  • Reply MJ April 4, 2006 at 9:36 am

    Thats a neat description of what many would call a grunt job… when really there are no “ordinary moments” in life. One can observe human behavior anytime, think and live in the moment and do the best job one can, no matter how routine it is….

  • Reply marshmallow April 5, 2006 at 6:29 pm

    drink black coffee, peeps.

  • Reply Karen April 6, 2006 at 9:06 am

    I always prefer cold caffeine drinks than hot ones 😛

    Of course you are not fat!

  • Reply Jen April 7, 2006 at 8:30 pm

    I hate coffee. I love the flavour of coffee, but I don’t actually like drinking coffee itself. Because I have to drink coffee when I write term papers the night before they’re due and coffee is therefore not something I can enjoy on my free time.

  • Reply augusto April 9, 2006 at 10:17 pm

    :E. sounds like my first pair of vans slip-ons.

  • Reply Vince July 11, 2006 at 9:59 pm


    This comment might end up burried under the unforgiving blanket of time – after all April was almost a century ago – but I liked your post and your style.

    I certainly like coffee myself, and do spend too much time in coffee shops, observing the crowds, on both sides of the fence.

    The funny thing is the next time I walk into a coffee shop, I won’t be able to refrain from looking at “their coffee-stained sneakers once-black” while waiting for my “black liquid that are poured from a single waterfall in a forest of coffee cups.”

    Nicely written! 🙂

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